I had little sliver of pooh dangling from my bottom, which eagle-eyed Columbo spotted...

Billy showing his bitsThis morning a terrible thing happened to me – Mum washed my bottom! I mean – who washes a cat’s bottom? I was so embarrassed that I just didn’t know what to do.

Apparently, I had a little sliver of pooh dangling from my bottom, which eagle-eyed Columbo spotted. As I have a tendency to sit on the arm of the sofa she envisioned a kitty-skid mark taking place so, before any damage could be done she whisked me up with one hand, and collected a bowl of warm water and some cotton wool balls with the other hand, and before you could say ‘Christmas’ the little pooh was removed.

I hurried upstairs to have a thoroughly good wash down ‘there’ and then went off to my secret camp in the alleyway beyond the back garden. Ricky has a secret camp alongside mine although we often don’t acknowledge one another because they are, after all, secret. They are our dens where we go to escape the rigours of life in the Daily Mews Office and where we can bask in the sun, but in the shade a bit – if you know what I mean!

Normally, I keep things to myself but I was so embarrassed by what happened, I did a discreet cough and Ricky knew that I was about to share something with him, so he rearranged his belly-bits into a more comfortable listening position.

I quietly told him, with long embarrassed pauses, about what had just transpired. Ricky is an incredibly good listener – I think that year of living in the rabbit hutch before he was rescued helped in that respect. Anyway, he said nothing for the longest time and I thought maybe he had fallen asleep out of shock or boredom.

But suddenly, to my utter amazement, Ricky confided in me sometime later that his bottom is often subjected to a thoughtful wash. I asked him how he felt about that and he said he was grateful because he couldn’t often reach his bottom because his belly-bits get in the way. It was nice, he said, for someone to do that for him although he admitted that he felt awfully embarrassed the first couple of times. But Mum never mentions this kind of stuff to anyone – she is the sole of discretion. He also said they have a mega cuddle after wards which he loves and sometimes Mum grooms him as well – which rounds it all off nicely.


She redeemed herself because she gave me a mega cuddle as well and we just snuggled into each other for ages. I think I might leave a bit of pooh dangling tomorrow – if only to get a blinding cuddle out of it!!!!


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