Bedraggled Pigeons, An Embarrassed Vicar and a HUGE Present ...

Thursday, 1^st January 2004

It’s the first day of a new year so Garfield was telling me. All those horrible firework thingies were going off again last night and the sirens from the boats on the river were making their funny long noises which is their way of wishing people a happy new year.

When Timmy and Mum went to feed the birds this morning there was a very bedraggled pigeon waiting on the roof. He wasn’t like the other pigeons that go on the roof – he was a pinkish beigish colour and he had a ring on his leg. But all his feathers were all sticking out and he looked as if he’d been pulled through a hedge backwards.  He was very untidy about his appearance and although we don’t have a dress code for the meals we provide, you’d have thought he could have smartened himself up a bit.

Friday, 2^nd January

Walter (Pigeon) or Wally, as Timmy decided he should be called, was there again this morning waiting for his breakfast.

Saturday, 3^rd and Sunday, 4^th January

Wally was still there.

Monday, 5^th and Tuesday, 6^th January

Wally was still there.

Wednesday, 7^th and Thursday, 8^th January

Wally was still there.

Friday, 9^th and Saturday, 10^th January

Still there.

Sunday, 11^th and Monday, 12^th January

STILL there!

Tuesday, 13^th January

Wally had his breakfast and we didn’t see him again. So perhaps he was resting until he’d got his strength back and had decided that today was a good day to fly back home. We hope he got there safely.

Friday, 16^th January

An AMAZING thing happened today. The postman knocked to give Mum a H-U-G-E parcel. Inside it was a G-I-N-O-R-M-O-U-S gift basket for Mum with tons of great eating things in it. Mum cried because it was such a lovely present she said and no one has ever done such a nice thing like that before in her WHOLE life, she said. And what was even better, there were some presents for Garfield, Billy, Timmy, Ricky, Sam and me! 

There was a crinkly bag, which you can go inside and come out the other end if you want to. The other blue crinkly bag which Mum bought back in November time, is not nearly as good as this one.  There were some funny shaped balls that roll in a wobbly line because they’re not round – they’re a bit scary to be honest, because you don’t know where they’re going and there was this great crinkly frog thing filled with catnip which I love. 

There were also some eating things for us, which you can’t buy in PetShopMan’s shop, so we had something nice to eat as well as Mum.

Who gave us this lovely present, you might be asking yourselves?? Our friend in California, MOLLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mollie and Garfield have become pawpals and they email each other when our Mums let them. Mollie’s Mum is called MOM because it’s what people in America, where Mollie lives, call their Mums.

Mum was so speechless at such kindness that she had to ring up loads of people to tell them!

Tuesday, 20^th January

Mum was something called MORTIFIED today because the vicar from her church came round to see her for a little chat. He’s a nice man and they get on well. He’s not keen on us cats though because when he leaves, he’s always wearing us on his suit!!

Why was Mum mortified?? Well, before the vicar popped in – which, by the way, Mum didn’t know was going to happen, - she had been doing tons of washing and she had all her ‘smalls’ on all the radiators throughout the house. Everywhere you looked panties hung about in groups – a ‘panties explosion!’

As the vicar came into the hallway, a pair of purple panties and a black pair greeted him! And then in the lounge where they sat and had coffee and a chat, there were 8 pairs of assorted colours all squished up on the radiator, waving at the vicar!!! Poor man didn't know where to look.

Wednesday, 28^th January

I woke up this morning and the ground outside in the garden had got some funny white stuff all over it. When I trod on it, it was cold and wet and felt funny. I didn’t like it so I stayed indoors.

Later on in the day, Mum was on her computer and I was asleep on the desk next to her, when we both looked up at the same time (spooky psychic moments that we often have) and I cried out because the sky was breaking in little pieces and it was all going in our garden.

I jumped onto the little chest by the window and I sat there for the longest time wondering how big the sky was and how long it would take for it to stop breaking – and who was going to clear all the mess up when it was finished. Everywhere was very quiet. Everywhere was very white.  Everywhere was very scary.

What was also scary and frightened Mum as well, was that it was thundering and lightening at the same time as the sky was breaking for a little while. Mum was so scared she switched off her computer. She said if lightening strikes the chimney (whatever that is) it can affect the computer and she’ll get blown to smithereens (wherever that is).

Later on, I tried to go out the back door but all the broken sky had built up a drift by the back door. I sniffed it. It smelled different to rain. I tasted it. It tasted different to rain. I put my paw in it. It felt different to rain. So I decided to see what it was like in the garden and I had to walk on two claws because I didn’t like the feeling it made on my paws. If you walk ‘skinny’ you don’t take up as much room so there is less of you to get cold. Garfield taught me that.

I didn’t like walking in the broken sky so I came back indoors. As Garfield had been asleep all day on the sofa, I didn’t think he knew about this terrible thing, so I felt I should be the one to tell him. ‘Garfield,’ I said. ‘Huh?’ Garfield replied, opening one eye at a time.

‘While you were sleeping the sky has broken and made a big mess in our garden!’

‘Hot dogs!’ Garfield said and went to look out the window to see for himself. ‘Oh Ollie! The sky hasn’t broken! It’s called snow and it’ll go in a day or so, you’ll see!’ Then he told me a story about Charlie who loved to play in the snow. As Charlie was mainly white with big ginger blotches on his back and head and tail, when he was running around in the snow, he looked like a big freckle darting here and there. And then he showed me some photos of himself when he was a bit younger in the snow.

Garfield, as you know, knows masses of stuff and he was absolutely right. In a few days, the snow had all gone and the rain was back!

Friday, 30^th January

Sam peed on the crinkle bag that Mollie sent us as a present this morning while Mum was preparing our breakfasts.  Mum was something called ‘Flabbergasted’ that he would do such a thing and sent him out in the garden because she was cross with him.

When he came back in he had to sit in the lobby area to think about his actions and then he had to say ‘sorry’ to Mum for doing such a thing. Mum had to wash the bag and it’s ok now, but it’s not the thing to do is it, peeing on your presents! I ask you!

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