Wednesday, 11th June
I taught Mum to wink today. Although she thinks she taught me, but I showed her how to do it first and she copied me.
I closed one eye and she closed one eye. Then I opened it and closed the other one. So she opened her eye and closed the other one. We did this for ages until I got bored. Then I closed both eyes and Mum thought it was part of the wink so she closed her eyes. But I had fallen asleep!
Sunday, 15th June
An amazing thing happened today. Two boys came along and spoke to Mum while she was watering the garden, and held up a blue collar with an identity disk. It was Charlie’s. Four days after PetShopMan had brought the collars round, Charlie came home without his. Mum thought that he’d probably gone up the back alley and hidden it somewhere where he didn’t expect it to be discovered again. Mum didn’t reckon without the probing fingers and inquisitive minds that make up little boys! They had found it in some bushes – no doubt where Charlie had hidden it!
Tuesday, 17th June
Mum was working late on her computer last night when she heard a cat crying. When she opened the curtains to look out into the blackness of the night she nearly had a heart attack when she saw me sitting on the roof outside the window! It was me who’d been crying. ‘Plums and custard, Ollie!!!’ she said in a funny clipped type voice. ‘What in heavens name are you doing on the roof?’
‘Can you just save the inquisition until I’m back indoors, please?’ I begged her, ‘I’m just a little bit worried out here,’ although I didn’t want to own up and let on that I was more than a little bit worried. Scared witless is a more apt description.
So good old Mum leant out the window and, thinking I was helping her a little bit, I moved out of arm’s reach. ‘No, Ollie, come to Mummy, please.’
She leaned out even more and eventually I got the message and came to where her hands were outstretched ready to grab me. I arched my back so that she could reach me and she scooped me up and took me inside. We stood there for a minute – both our hearts beating nineteen to the dozen, whatever that means, and then she gave me a big kiss and cuddle.
Not surprisingly, I got the Columbo treatment. She made a mega fuss about how I got there, and what was I doing out on the roof yadda, yadda, yadda. I just wanted to surprise her, that’s all! Cheez, third degree or what!
She looked me all over to see if I was hurt and then took me downstairs to where Garfield was laying on the little sofa. Garfield gave me a wash and I settled down next to him and we both went to sleep.
Monday, 23rd June
Billy told tales on me today and got me into trouble. He was sitting on the fence next to the dining room window calling to Mum. When she went to the window to see what was wrong with him he looked over to the low roof above the kitchen. Mum followed his gaze and nearly had a heart attack again because there I was – helping the birds to eat their breakfast!
‘Hi!’ I waved, turning my back on her and Billy. Mum flew up the stairs and climbed on the windowsill to do a repeat rescue performance like the other night. But she was too late. I was over the ridge of the roof heading to the neighbour’s side of the roof.
They have a dog called Quinn who was out in the garden at the time and he saw me. Personally, I think he’s one sandwich short of a picnic as he started to bark at me. Ok, Ok, so I WAS pulling faces at him and doing a moonie but he didn’t have to go mental and bark his head off, did he! Eventually his Human shouted at him and he had to go indoors.
‘That was fun!’ I thought as I made my way back to our side of the roof. I jumped up and managed to grab hold of the window to heave myself in. Whistling a happy tune to myself I went downstairs to find Mum doing her Columbo stuff on Billy. I waved jauntily as I went to my breakfast and polished off the leftovers. All that fun had given me an adrenaline buzz and I woz smokin’!!!!!
Friday, 27th June
Charlie was having trouble with his breathing tonight, just before Mum gave us our supper, so she called the Vet. He came out to see Charlie who was laying on his side on the little sofa in the dining room, making a funny noise and panting.
Most of us ran away when we saw the Vet, only Garfield stayed on the sofa next to Charlie, while the Vet examined him. Even Charlie, as sick as he was, tried to run away when he saw the Vet, but the Vet held him gently.
I kept coming back in to look at the Vet and to sniff him and I let him stroke me a few times. Then I lay on the table where I could keep an eye on things, but keep away from those long needle thingies.
Poor Charlie had 4 or 5 long needle thingies put into his neck and was given a tablet. The Vet said that Mum had to take Charlie down to the surgery early in the morning so that he could have a chest x-ray as his lungs were full of fluid.
He had to go to sleep in the bathroom (Charlie, that is, not the Vet) because he wasn’t allowed out. Apparently, if a cat is very sick it sometimes goes away to die because it doesn’t like a fuss.
Timmy and I waited outside the bathroom door to let Charlie know we were there if he needed anything, but it all went quiet.
Saturday, 28th June
Mum got up really early this morning and rushed to the bathroom. Timmy was still outside the bathroom door and he moved out of her way. Then she started to cry. She brought Charlie out of the bathroom and wrapped him in a towel and laid him on the little sofa. Charlie was very still and he wasn’t making the panting noise anymore.
We all got on the sofa one at a time to say our ‘goodbyes’ to him and Garfield gave him a wash. Sam and Ricky growled and their ears went back on their heads. Then they went through the cat flap. Timmy kept sniffing Charlie’s paws and face, and then he waited upstairs for Mum to bring the bread up to feed the birds.
Billy looked at Charlie and he also went through the cat flap. I looked but I didn’t know what I was supposed to do so I went into the kitchen and waited for my breakfast.
After we all had our breakfast – although none of us ate that much – and Timmy had fed the birds, Mum took Charlie upstairs so that we could say ‘goodbye’ again if we wanted to. Then she took him up to the Vets and we didn’t see him any more.
Something bad must have happened because Mum has been crying non-stop. After the last time I gave her a cuddle and got a soaking, I stayed out of the way this time, although I did smile at her from a distance to let her know I cared.
Everyone is very quiet and sad and none of us want our dinner. Not even me.
Friday, 4th July
Last night I wanted to see Mum to tell her something important but she always closes the dining room door so that we can’t come upstairs at night. So there was only one other way open for me.
I went through the cat flap, and to the tune of ‘Mission Impossible’ being played in my head, I shimmied up the washing line post to where I was level with the low roof above the kitchen, and Tom Cruised myself a big jump onto the roof. I sat there a second to collect my thoughts and with two legs long and two legs short, I walked crab like up the roof to the window, which was open. I didn’t have a rope and pulley contraption – I just had my jumping skills, so I calculated the distance and concentrated. Then I jumped and landed on the open bar bit of the window. Tom would have been wetting himself with admiration at this point, I thought. Then I jumped down onto the ottoman, which Timmy and Mum stand on in the mornings to feed the birds, and gave myself a quick spruce up. You never see Tom dishevelled do you?
With a chirpy ‘MIAOW’ I went into Mum’s bedroom. Needless to say, she nearly had another heart attack. ‘Ollie! Is that you?’ she whispered. ‘No, Mum, it’s not me! It’s Tom Cruise!’ I answered her. ‘What?’ she asked. ‘It’s 4.30 Ollie! What are you doing at this time of the night?’
I jumped on her bed and looked at her to see if she was all right. She patted the space beside her and I settled down. I slept there for about two seconds before wandering around to find another spot that I liked. And I slept there for about 4 seconds. I kept doing this because I couldn’t settle and in the end I got bored and went down stairs.
Mum had to get up and to let me in the dining room where some of the others were asleep. I decided I’d had enough adventures for one night and climbed up to the tower where I stayed until morning. And I forgot to tell her what I was going to originally.
Saturday, 12th July
Timmy’s gone on strike. Mum ran out of brown bread to throw to the birds so she used white. Timmy said he doesn’t like white bread and he refused to eat any while the birds were being fed.
He sat with his back to the window refusing to look at the birds. He knew they were there because he could hear them and when he sneaked a sly look over his shoulder, they carried on eating as if to show Timmy they didn’t care that he wasn’t looking at them.
Timmy turned his back again to show them he didn’t care that they didn’t care that he wasn’t looking at them.
I got up and walked away to show the birds and Timmy that I didn’t care what colour bread any one was or wasn’t eating and they could just get on with it.
Dogs Come when Called
"Dogs come when called. Cats take a message and get back to you."
"Of course, every cat is really the most beautiful woman in the room."
Edward Verrall Luca (essayist)