Today, I came back from a consultation at my vet’s after my final check-up following my transformation into a Moggess-Goddess!!!  The object of my heart’s desire, Reggie, the ex-stud cat who I adore and was the reason for my kick-start to a new me, and our bruv, Gabion Tzchugge were waiting to see me. I was in my cat carrier and they were eagerly awaiting the ‘Big Reveal’.

Me, Chav Cat! I had been transformed. I cannot believe the change!! But it was a long and difficult road …. but it has been worth it.

First, my weight. I really was a porki-torti, and I knew it. My saggy tummy slopped from side to side and my saddles wobbled when I walked down the garden. I needed to up my exercise routine. So, whenever Kippy, the soppy neighbourhood cat stepped into the garden, I was off in a flash – well, more of an out of breath hobble at first - but I built up my speed and muscles, and eventually caught him!! I was shocked how fit and lithe I had become.

Diet: the hardest bit. Kibbles which were on offer 24/7 were taken out of my sight and I now have planned meals. Titbits were out. At first, I felt like I would die of starvation as I flopped around, weak from hunger. But as the weight dropped off I firmed up. I felt good about myself and soon it became easy to control my excessive nibbling. I was weighed by Nick at my surgery and my weight loss monitored as we discussed my fitness regime. I can now do something I could only dream of when I was a chubbalini chav cat; jump onto the wheelie bin to survey my garden. I am well proud of myself!

I caught myself in the mirror; I didn’t walk in a very ladylike manner. I was clumpy and clumsy as my paws thumped across the carpet. Time to call in the deportment expert – LuLu, who lives over the road, the epitome of elegance and style. She walks with such poise and beauty. I had to eat humble pie as previously I spat and hissed at her through the gate as she tip-clawed past, totally ignoring me. (I was probably jealous of her sexy allure). She kindly agreed to call round one morning and taught me how to walk elegantly and behave like a lady with full-on sex appeal.

I had spa treatments; my paws were cleaned, my claws clipped, ears cleaned of years of build-up of wax and then I was groomed and brushed till my pelt shone. Miraculously, I can now hear better. All slugs and bits of twigs which I gathered in my fur, now history.

Finally, after all this hard work and determination I had a big discussion with Gabion Tzchugge. I showed him my new polished fangs and tried out my new fresh breath on him. Then I rolled over and showed him my tummy, or lack of it as it is slowly receding and asked him his opinion. Did he think Reggie would find me attractive?

Gabes, took a sharp breath, then thought about it. Finally, he said yes. He told me that Reggie was reclining on a pillow on the bed with a red rose, if I cared to go and see him.

So, I’m off to make friends with Reggie, see if I can cuddle up to him now I know that I haven’t got bad breath which will knock him over, or a great bulk of wobbliness which may crush him … wish me luck!!

I’d been lazing by the pond looking at the newts. It was the first morning when the frost hadn’t sparkled across the lawn despite the bright sunshine. The human suddenly threw the patio windows open. She put Gabion out for a bit of fresh air then started tinkering round in the garden.

Clearly, she had to be supervised!

After a good yawn and a lazy stretch, I left the pond then followed her round as she bound bamboo canes together and thrust them into big boxes of home-made compost. It was a bit chilly, but she got quite a sweat on!

I assisted by climbing into the boxes and lying on the compost between the canes. It was a little cold and damp, so I sat in the sun on a chair instead and watched, fascinated, as she shook the winter from the garden and welcomed spring in.

Garden furniture was dragged out and dusted off, the ancient hedgerow trimmed. Then she opened the shed ... and screamed!

The bottoms of the 25Kg polythene sacks of bird seed had been chewed by mice. The seeds had spilled everywhere. Huge sigh as everything was then taken out of the shed, the seeds swept up then the shed vacuumed before everything was put back in its place. The seeds were then stored in sealed buckets and put on shelves.

She thought that had done the trick. However, I knew it hadn’t so I took up residence in one of the moglus as they are stored in the shed with our snoozzees for when we have to go to the cattery.

After a few minutes, I pounced and caught a mouse which was rattling round in the corner of the shed searching for seeds. I was so chuffed. The human watched as I proudly carried the little mouse in my mouth, out of the shed and across the lawn to where Gabion was dozing on the lawn in the warm spring sunshine.

Gabes opened one eye, looked at me, then clocked the mouse in my mouth. He absolutely freaked. Both eyes widened, his ears went flat to the back of his head and in yowling in sheer panic he raced back into the house and found sanctuary under the bed.

Human and I just looked at each other in disbelief. Who has heard of a cat that is scared of mice? Clearly, Gabion isn’t wired right!!

So, I just dropped the mouse on the lawn and stalked off in disgust. After a few hours Gabion very nervously came out into the garden and lay on the lawn near the mouse. I patted it over to him, but he made sure he didn’t look at it, not even a glance.

A cat who is scared of mice, unbelievable!

Chav Cat

@ Tom Cat Towers

It’s funny how age ... and weight creep up on you. I belonged to an old lady who doted on me. I was spoiled but wasn’t allowed outside to get my paws wet as I was very precious to her. She’s adopted me from the Cat’s Protection after I was abandoned by my previous owner having had kittens and I was very loved.

As I was adopted by my old lady in November, I was renamed Poppy, after the Poppy Appeal. Previously the Cat’s Protection had called me ‘Queenie’ as I had arrived with my kittens. I had been so grateful to them for taking me in and finding me a new home.

Then my old lady died suddenly. So, this is how I arrived at Tom Cat Towers. I was about 12 years old and discovered a new lease of life as I now had an enclosed garden to mooch round. I also had access to kibbles, loads of them and my waistline expanded and expanded. My new housemate, Reggie could not believe how many kibbles I could hoover up. I was awesome in the greed department!

Sadly, the grams packed on and I started to struggle to haul myself up the trees to patrol my new territory. I developed double chins and treble tummies. I had a new nickname, The Porky Tortie!!

Then I fell in love head over heels with Reggie, but by then I was obese, so I very firmly took myself in paw. I went on a diet, lost weight, glammed myself up and now snuggle up with Reggie. My vet was sooo impressed with me at my last weigh in when we had a chit chat about how well I had done for ‘an old lady’.

However, it is quite clear, that after nearly five years at Tom Cat Towers, I really am now slowing down. My bones are getting creaky, and I snooze a lot more. In fact, I snooze most of the day away, and I tend to amble down the garden instead of galloping down eagerly to the hedgerow to hunt mice.

I’m also getting rather hard of hearing, and this is my problem. Gabion, the young whippersnapper who also lives with us, spends all day winding me up by sneaking up and sniffing the end of my tail. He calls this trick Sneaky-Sniffs, as he knows that this really, and I mean, really, annoys me. So much so that I turn on him with a snarl then try and clout him which he finds hysterically funny. He now has a new trick.

As part of becoming a grand old dame, I am sleeping more and more, and my sleep is heavier and heavier. In fact, whilst I am having my old lady naps, and I’m totally zonked out, he now slithers up to me and will, very slyly, put out his paw and tap me on the head. When I wake up, quite bewildered, Gabes is of course two rooms away.

But he now has taken this game to new heights. When I am completely out of it, dreaming of my more youthful exploits, he very slowly cuddles up and lies on top of me. He thinks he looks cute, and the human believes that Gabion is actually ‘caring’ for me in my dotage.

I have no idea he’s there till I open one eye, then before I can raise my paw to slap him, he’s gone!

Poppy @ Tom Cat Towers  

The cat carriers were out. We were about to go and have out annual moggy-MOT's and vaccinations at the vet's surgery. Except Gabion. He took one look at them then decided that he wasn't going.

He was, as usual, being naughty. He scampered over the carriers and then made a dash for the garden. I finished washing my whiskers as the human called and called him to come back in while the vet's appointment time got closer. I stood up, shook my fur and went out to wrangle him in.

He had his harness on so was easy to track down, the sound of the bell gave him away. I cornered him, licked him between his ears to calm him down, then asked him what did he think he was playing at? He knows we all have to go and see the vet each year.

Gabion replied that if his human loved him, really loved him then she wouldn't make him go to the vets for his jabs.

I rolled my eyes. Gabion can be sooooo stupid. I told him that the very fact that we go to see the vet each year means that we are very loved and cared for. Our human makes sure we are healthy, and vaccinations keep us free from disease, and the vet gives us a moggy-MOT while we are there to make sure we are all healthy.

He looked at me quizzically, as we both went back into the house and settled on the chair, so that I could tell him my story.

Before I came to Tom Cat Towers I was not loved. I never had vaccinations, no moggy-MOT and I was not neutered. I was simply homeless, a stray, an unwanted grubby street cat that just about survived out in the wild. This meant that I ended up pregnant with a clutch of kittens about to make my life more complicated.

Thankfully, at this stage, a cat charity took me in, cleaned me up, vaccinated me and neutered me. I showed Gabion my scar on my tummy and he was fascinated. My kittens were homed, and I went to live with an old lady who loved me. She would not let me outside, so I grew fatter and fatter, as I was spoiled and loved.

Sadly, after a couple of years, she went to hospital. For weeks I sat sadly at the kitchen window waiting for her to come home. But she didn't. Each day I was fed by another lady who came round for ten minutes to make sure I was alright. The old lady died, so the other lady took me home to be part of her family at Tom Cat Towers, and that is where I am now, living with Gabion and Reggie where we are all very loved.

Part of being very loved means having to have vaccinations to keep us healthy.

So, when the cat carriers come out, we get vaccinated and when we get back it's time for Christmas. The twinkly tree will be up, lots of pressies, the excitement of Santa Paws, fabulous food and a warm house plus a human to love.

So, having a small jab is a small price to pay. I stared deeply into Gabion's eyes, to let him know that it means we are very loved, wanted and cared for. Gabion rolled over and I licked him between the ears.

He sighed. He knew I was right as our human loaded us into our carriers. What's more, he knew that when we got back home later in the afternoon, Christmas would have arrived at Tom Cat Towers, and there would be lots of treats waiting for us to enjoy.

Poppy