No disrespect, blasphemy or sacrilege intended, Psalm 23 is my favourite and I thought cats probably have their own version and this is what it probably goes like:

The Lord is my cat herder; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down and show my belly; He leadeth me beside the water bowl.

He restoreth my catnip; He leadeth me in paths of scratchiness for my claw’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of the dog; I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; Thy teeth and thy claws, they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table of noms before me in the presence of mine enemies (the cat next door); Thou anointest my head with kisses; my drool runneth over.

ChalkySurely cat treats and chin scratches shall follow me all the days of my nine lives; And I will dwell in the house of my human as long as I like because I’m a cat and that’s how we roll.


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