Introduction to Toff Cat

With the imminent demise of Downton Abbey there is forecast to be a lot of weeping, gnashing of false teeth and wailing as the everyday story of upper crust toffs no longer graces our television screens. For those out in the colonies who believe this to be almost a true-life documentary of life here in modern Britain the loss of Downton has been too much to bear and repeat loops of the programme have not brought much comfort.

But have no fear. The Daily Mews has been working with their rather posh inside reporter to bring you further tales of the British Aristocracy at its finest.

Bought to you from the ‘shires’ our reporter, His Most Royal Highness, The Truly Excellent, Marvellously Mogalicious Regally Regaled Prince Clarence Clutterbuck of Sozzlebury, a cat of the finest pedigree and breeding, whose aristocratic lineage goes back far beyond the Doomsday Book, has his finely groomed paws on the pulsating pulse of the intimate experience of living with the Absolute Finest Upper Crust at Gripewaters Grange.
 
Clarence is a bit hard of hearing and his vision is none too sharp after many years of rather posh over-indulgence at the hand of his mistress, Lady Trumpington Trubshaw who dotes on his every whim.

Clarence, a real Toff Cat Kitty, brings you glittering gems of his everyday life from his Tudor pile in the country, teetering on bankruptcy. The shenanigans of the family butler and the goings on of rather posh friends of the family and The Chavs who live in the village of Lower Sozzlebury. Characters you may vaguely recognise.

If you are of a nervous disposition and by this we mean nervous of losing your OBE or MBE, then look away now. But if you fancy some rollicking, good, irreverent, almost  rude old fashioned fun as we romp in the shires which may offend then, as the final credits roll for Downton Abbey, ‘Click on Clarence’!!

Illustration by Anthony Smith of 'Learn to Speak Cat' fame.

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