Last time I told you our house move was guaranteed before Xmas? Well, perhaps I didn’t take the Great Cat into account! He’s got us down for late January/early February. 

... with help from the Great Cat …

JimmyThis new house is very near a few woods, it’s in a cul-de-sac, has a largish garden, is even further away from the main road, and has plenty of places to hide. I’ve discovered there are a few other cats around [next door have two], so I’m in training now for some facing down.

Our keepers had advice from a clairvoyant about our new house’s suitability, and she gives it the thumbs up.

As ever, my world is in a state of flux. I’ve hardly bothered chasing Max lately; I don’t know what’s come over me.

You see I reckon I can do pretty much [subject to my size, inability to open locked doors and take the tops off bottles] anything I want, so this creating our reality/Great Cat nonsense used to leave me cold.

I suppose I’ve realised now if I could ‘manifest’ a heap of cat food, ate the lot and keeled over, it wouldn’t be very responsible would it? And suppose all the cats in the area did it too? I might be Top Cat, but if I create my reality, then so must they, even though their reality is not quite as good as mine! My keepers wouldn’t be too happy either, as Jack keeps telling people I’m him in feline form, and I don’t think he has any plans to eat a skip of mushroom samber and drink gallons of Cobra lager.

There seems to be an invisible field which affects our thoughts and actions, which stops us going down the gastro-suicide route.

I know when my keepers are coming home long before their car comes over the bridge, and so does Max, who also knows when I’m asleep.

Wouldn’t life be very boring [eventually] if it was all down to us? I hate to admit it, but little surprises do keep us active. We cats are better than you lot at learning from our close encounters, and we already know the meaning of life, so we don’t need to keep burning our paws on hot stoves to re-discover it!

Yes, the Great Cat has a plan for us all. But as we are all scaled-down versions of the GC, we have free will. I’m glad my will isn’t completely free, otherwise the woods would be a bird and rabbit-free zone. Now, was that my inner Great Cat talking or me?

The next time you hear from me will be when I tell you how the five of us coped with moving. This time the Great Cat has given it his personal backing.


Jack Stewart MSc©

Dogs Come when Called

"Dogs come when called. Cats take a message and get back to you."

"Of course, every cat is really the most beautiful woman in the room."

Edward Verrall Luca (essayist)