If there is less of your human’s lap than there used to be then maybe you need to help them shape up. After all, their lap is your resting place and if that space is diminishing, then something needs to be done! This is the section where cats unite across the world to reclaim what is rightfully theirs – the snooze spot which doesn’t move (much) because the human sits down a lot (which is probably why there is less lap space than there should be).
Casey and Gibbs have embarked on a flab fighting mission to rid their human of the additional wobbly stuff that has accumulated over the years and this year, they mean business. The wobble has to go. Are you in? Will you join them as they try to motivate felines all over the world to get their staff, human food bowl attendants, call them what you will – to shape up or ship out?
Write to Casey@thedailymews.com because he wants to hear from you with your ingenious ways of getting that stubborn human to move from the sofa to become the svelte lean machine they were always meant to be. In the process, felines that are carrying a little extra ‘furry’ bits around their middles will be encouraged to ditch the flab too.
If it weren’t for insomnia, one of life’s most underrated treasures, I might have missed my first encounter (of the sixth kind?) with what I originally thought to be a lost bear cub running around in my backyard. Closer scrutiny revealed a huge black Persian cat, shivering and forsaken on this the coldest night of the year. I fell in love with him instantly and just as soon as my eyes met his cool yellow gaze more than a part of me knew that I would take him in to join the rest of my cat family. His beauty and winning personality I welcomed, but never, even in my wildest dreams, did I ever imagine that a new exercise companion as well as a fabulous new feline friend would now own me.
It took some time for this trait of Nero’s to emerge. The reasons for that probably involve my intense dislike for exercise and the fact that this proclivity was difficult to see in light of his many others. Yes, the paws of my darling round friend (13½ pounds) are always involved in some creative endeavour. He loves knocking over milk and juice containers and lapping up the liquid before it drips to the other end of the counter. He enjoys reading, especially my book whenever I’m reading it. He has been taught by greater masters than Montessori, as the words don’t really matter. It’s the position of his head and body in relation to the printed page that determine his appreciation of the reading matter in question. If I can pet him, it’s a good story. If I can’t, it isn’t. He has also mastered the keys on my computer, although he limits himself to return and caps lock.
I am not exaggerating about my feelings for exercise. Try as I might, I cannot help but liken it to that trip to the dentist postponed for the third time, that visit to the IRS and the dreaded arrival of that not distant enough relative. Unfortunately, twenty-five pounds added to a new non-smoking figure has evolved a better set of lungs but a bitter, larger set of almost everything else, including personal re-evaluations. But it’s not so bad now because Nero makes it better!
When it comes to the Nordic Track, my Nero is a pro. In what way, ask you knaves? Well, he uses two practical approaches to cut fat. Either he puts his head in between the slats and looks up at me adoringly or he lies on his back with his paws up in the air and does the same. He nudges the edges of the slats with his nose without a shred of fear that one false move might well knock him to the far wall.
He loves dumbbells. (Nothing personal, of course.) While I am flat on my back trying to lift the little suckers, he approaches with a strut and rubs his nose against them, purring with all the force of a motorboat. Push-ups are best. When I’m up in the air, he’s walking underneath me and sometimes I flatten him a little bit when I come down for a landing because he doesn’t get his fat cat body out of the way in time He does his best to be synchronized and when I’m doing my beloved abdominals he conserves his energy by resting under my legs. He finds the scissors’ exercise less challenging. For these, he positions himself at my head and switches positions as I roll over to the side I’m working on, caressing his head in the process of course.
In his own feline way I know he is trying to share his feelings for exercise. What that is I suppose, is anybody’s guess, but he must be doing something right. In the last six months or so that we have been exercising together he has shed ½ pound and I haven’t lost an ounce!
Marjorie Dorfman
Marjorie has several wonderful websites where you can see more of her humorous writing:
http://www.cultureschlockonline.com Pop Culture
http://www.bytebackonline.com Technology
http://www.overthehill.info Middle Age
http://www.ingestandimbibe.com Food
http://www.housenotsobeautiful.com Home owning
http://www.laughingmattersink.com Humour
http://www.whatsnewemu.com Animals, Pets