Invite to The Palace

Unbelievable!! Just absolutely unbelievably incredible. I cannot believe how amazingly incompetent and useless my Maid is!

I know she is completely rubbish in her service of my needs and quirks, but this really takes the biscuit!

The task I set her was simple; pop down to Buckingham Palace and ensure, on my behalf, that everything is in tip-top condition before my imminent move to the more fitting and salubrious accommodation which befits my regal status than here at Tom Cat Towers.

What did she do? She arrived there, walked through the main gates, straight through the state rooms and out into the gardens, plonked herself down on a comfy chair and listened to the band whilst stuffing down her neck delish crustless sarnies, exquisite cakes and wonderfully smooth ice cream, all washed down with cups of delicate tea for a couple of hours. She hardly moved the entire afternoon.

It was only when the current residents threatened to unleash the corgis at the end of the afternoon to evict her, that she finally stood up, gathered up her fake designer handbag, and came home.

Mission unaccomplished. I am still here on the duvet. How could everything have gone so wrong? Clearly the answer is, yet again, Maid’s fault.

I am utterly speechless with rage.

Maid, unfortunately, now has a brief stay of execution, literally as her appointment with Saint Ben to be put down is postponed as I have to rethink my plans.

One is not amused!!

Dumpty

Still at Tom Cat Towers!

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