Sydney, an old ginger striped ex-mousing officer was sitting on my garden wall, his whiskers and jaws chuffling as he sucked in the scent of the morning air.

He lives over the road, but spends much of the day in our front garden just gazing up in adoration (understandable) at the window of the bedroom where I reside on my designer duvet. Each day, he hopes to catch a glimpse of his heart’s desire – me.

Then Cuticles, a rather soft in the head beige young tom with white paws ambles into the garden, pretending not to look up at the bedroom window for me. Finally Mikey-Mike, a credit crunch cat who we believe has been abandoned by his humans, popped into the garden and started sniffing at my royal catnip bush which was transported from a royal residence for my personal use. I was therefore very put out when Mikey-Mike then sprayed on it, shaking his back leg as he did.

I assumed, wrongly as it happened, that Willi Whizkas, our moth eaten mog would defend our territory here at Tom Cat Towers and that fur would soon fly as he evicted these trespassers. But no, Wills the idiot cat, just snuggled down in the dirt by my catnip bush and had a kip. He came in smelling of tom cat wee - Eau de Mikey-Mike.

Sydney was curled up under a crabapple tree where he has made a nest. It is in direct line of my view from my bedroom window, so it rather ruins the look of the gardens seeing that ginger lump on his back, legs in the air displaying the scars from a certain operation all tom cats should have. Wills went outside again and stretched out by my catnip bush near Sydney.

I thrumped my tail and glowered through the glass, but the useless cats just carried on snoozling in the dirt. I sat on my bed and stared hard at them, but they didn’t move a whisker until early evening, then Sydney yawned, stretched and dragged his old carcass onto his paws and to my absolute horror he ate a couple of sprigs of my catnip before turning tail and spraying onto the leaves again which dripped onto the snoozing Willi Whizkas. Then he swaggered off over the road, leaving Willi the wuss still fast asleep and stinking of tom cat wee - again.

Maid later went out to pick a few sprigs of my catnip bush and placed them on my bed. Needless to say, the fragrance was so awful, I turned my finely tunes nose up in disgust!

Maid’s version!

We have local cats who visit the gardens here at Tom Cat Towers, mainly for the collection of catnip bushes which I have accrued on my travels round the world. In fact I must have the only global collection of catnip bushes!!

Some cats come to chew on the leaves and get high. Some come to chuffle through the leaves and sniff deeply the fragrance. Others like to roll on the plants and soak the scent into their fur. But Mikey-Mike, a neglected stray takes great delight in spraying on the bush. Especially the one I collected, with permission, from Althorp House. It’s under the bedroom window, so Madam can watch the comings and goings of the local feline population, when she can be bothered to open her eyes.

When it’s in bloom I place some of the beautiful vivid blue flowers on the bed for Madam to chew on, there were a couple of sprigs still left which I picked and took in for her to play with. Normally she loves fresh catnip. Today anyone would think I had handed her a poisoned bouquet, she just ignored the stuff completely!

Mikey-Mike, whose been abandoned, comes at regular times and I feed him any scraps left over. Sometimes I buy big bags of cheap cat kibbles for him as I feel sorry for him. I put food out twice a day in a bowl by the gate for him and he always announces himself with a loud yowl. He loves attention and being stroked, but he’s a bit odd. He will meow, growl, cuss and purr all at the same time. A cat that has learned to multi task in an attempt to make himself look cute and appealing!

  

In the Middle of a World...

"In the middle of a world that has always been a bit mad, the cat walks with confidence."

Roseanne Anderson

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