Sydney the ginger blimp of a cat was sitting under my window this morning trying to catch a glimpse of me, his heartthrob!  I ignored him.

He is so batting above his league. Then Cuticles, a silly ginger and white tom arrived and they started chatting. Apparently I am Top Class Tom Cat Totty!

However, they will never get to meet me as I only go out on a halter and lead with a human escort as a bodyguard. I really am not your every-day average moggy. Outdoors really has no appeal; all that cold grass under my paws. And dirt, well, I just even don’t want to think about walking on dirt. Yuk! Mingling with common cats has absolutely no appeal for me. I just about tolerate the Gingie-crew being allowed residence in the same house. Today I had my grooming session in the picture window of the Bliss Spa Executive Suite. Here I can half heartedly pat a dangling Culpeper catnip mouse as Maid gives me a good brush. The blackbirds were hopping about and overhead were seagulls which were fascinating. I enjoyed it so much I purred my ears off.

Then Top Class Tom Cat Totty? That one made me smile as my pantaloons were fluffed up with baby powder. Still, at least the common cats acknowledge my regal sexiness!

Later I ventured outside to have a closer look at one of my blackbirds. I have almost tamed them. One of them came quite close and let me sniff him. I suppose he was just overwhelmed to be so near to a royal Himalayan Lynx. I don’t think he could believe his eyes! He stared up at me and I graciously dipped my head and gave him a sniff.

I find it incredulous that the Gingie-crew think birds are there to be chased, and worse eaten. When I first saw Wills running round the garden like a loon with a bird in his mouth I almost had a fit of the vapours!

Fortunately, Maid managed to catch him then turn him upside down to release the bird. Has no-one told the thug that cats are supposed to appreciate the delicate beauty and grace of birds –not chase them down and chew them? He is such a lout.

Maid’s version

I opened the bedroom window to see Sydney, a gorgeous old stripy ginger tom cat, with a very worried face that comes and partakes of the scraps I put out for the cats that trot through the garden. He likes to look in the bedroom at Dumpty. He was in the garden with Cuticles, a young ginger cat with white socks. If I thought cats were sociable, I could almost think that they come to pay courtship on Madam!


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