The Saga Continues - (Part 21)

I am getting concerned that Maid is not devoting as much of her time on me as she should be.

Today she was outside, trying very slowly to get near to Willi Whizkas who was sitting on the lawn with his paws out. It then became apparent that right in front of his paws, was a mouse playing dead. It was also very apparent, that despite not being asleep, and his eyes were wide open, that the useless ginger wuss-bag hadn’t even seen the mouse. Maid very cleverly distracted Wills, who is completely stupid and easily distracted then she scooped the mouse into a plant pot and let it go behind the shed.

Later that day, Willi was swaggering round the garden with a larger mouse dangling from his jaws. He looked so pleased with himself until Maid went flying outside, picked him up and tried to make him let go of the mouse. That was something he had no intention of doing. I suspect it was another cat’s mouse as he is too stupid to catch his own. Finally Maid held him upside down until he let the mouse go, which looked very funny and very undignified for the great big ginger idiot. The half sucked mouse scampered off and went back under the shed where millions of other mice live. Willi Whizkas was absolutely furious with Maid and actually hissed at her then stalked off with his tail flicking in anger.

I know he got his revenge. He sprayed up Maid’s very expensive handbag which she had left on the kitchen floor. Naturally I shopped him by sniffing rather loudly in an extremely exaggerated fashion at the bag with a sour expression on my face and a very wrinkled nose of disgust so that she would come and investigate. When she did, she picked up the bag and the vile odourwas enough to finger the culprit. Maid was livid. Wills was turfed outside with no supper after a good finger wagging telling off. I laughed so much one of my whiskers fell out. It was one of my more magnificent whiskers but it was worth it!

Maid’s version!

He may be getting old, in fact he’s over fourteen years old, but that doesn’t stop our furry ginger hero having a pop at the garden wildlife. He used to clatter over neighbours’ conservatory roofs, shimmydown drain pipes and raid mice nests, bringing mice home by the brace. It used the frighten the neighboursas he made such a noise on their roof and it cannot have been a desirable sight to look up through the glass roof to see a big ginger bottom looking down at them as he sat up there surveying the estate! Then as he grew older he was constantly seen with just his big bottom sticking out of their garden borders as he terrorisedtheir rodent population.

He would perfectly dismember his furry trophy and leave it on my doorstep. Many a morning I’ve opened the door to a perfectly laid out piece of kidney, or a novelty display of liver and an eye.

Some of his butchery work looked quite artistic. He should qualify for a grant! Now he is older and more creaky he restricts himself to the gardens of Tom Cat Towers where we have a large population of very small mice under the wilderness cabin (glorified shed!) however I seem to be able to wrestle whatever he has caught from him simply by tipping him upside down till he reluctantly opens his jaws and deposits his wriggling victim on the lawn. This of course makes him very angry and he has to have revenge. Today he took it out on my posh handbag by spraying on it so he was shunted outside for the night. 

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