Tushtots, who is featured on Willi Whiskas' section of the website, has written a heartfelt plea to the Daily Mewsers. If you have any words of comfort and advice please email me and I'll publish them - and pass them on to him.

Dear Mewsers

I have a real problem with my human, and I’m not too sure what to do. I am at my wits end!!

I know that from the moment she first clapped eyes on me that she fell hopelessly in love with me. Trouble is she is now falling in love with every mangy cat she meets!!

I know that she has ‘holiday romances’, whereby she’ll pick up any old waif and stray whilst she’s away from Tom Cat Towers, and stuff the adopted cat and its kittens with packets of chicken and cat kibbles. I don’t have a problem with that because she always bids her ‘new love’ a tearful farewell on the last day of her holiday then always comes back to me (without any new brothers and sisters in tow, thankfully!)

The one ‘holiday romance’ that caused me most distress was ‘Big Boy’ in Austria. How can I compete with such a vision of feline perfection?

Even on a Norwegian cruise last year in several of the ports she managed to find a cat or two who did ‘meet and greet’ as they head butted, purred and welcomed her on shore for cuddles:-

This is Honnigsvag Henry; I have absolutely no idea why she was taken with him as he’s as old as a conker tree and probably deaf! I can see absolutely nothing attractive about this old moth eaten specimen.

Then there’s Bertie who she met in Bergen. He was a real meowsie-wowsie- chatty type of chap who was keen to parade up and down having a bit of fuss as he distracted Carol from walking round the old town. She says that if she could have put him in her suitcase she would! I know she’s only joking (at least I hope she is?!)

I didn’t mind these one night stands, but the problem is now getting out of control!!

I used to be the total, absolute love of my humans life. I made sure we were an item and I was with her 24/7. But now have a sister, Little Dumpty Roo. She arrived last year. Bit of a shock really, one minute I’m out in the garden studying the birds then when I came in, there she was on the bed. My bed, the one which I share with my human, Carol. Now every night Little Dumpty’s there snuggled up purring her ears off, lying on her back with her legs in the air having her tummy tickled. The floozy!!

She clearly had fallen on desperate times and needed a new home. But why she had to come and live with me and my human I’ll never know. I do begrudge sharing cuddle-times and my posh nosh. I have tried hard stares but Little Dumpty is such a frightened little girl that I soon melt. She has just started to come and give me little sniffs and I have been so proud of myself that I haven’t raised a paw, hissed or done anything that could be classed as ‘jealous behaviour’! I have been quite dignified in the face of this female usurper considering how territorially possessive I am of Carol!

But I do begrudge the attention she has been getting. She is a bit of a Diva, a real attention seeker and it’s taking quality time spent with my human away from me.

I know I sound a bit of a grump, but I do like Little Dumpty really. The real problem I have which is really getting on my whiskers is that Carol is now feeding my sworn enemy and any other stray that ambles onto the driveway here at Tom Cat Towers.

Evil Sydney, my nemesis! He almost got me run over and killed when I was younger so I’m not allowed outside unless I’m on a halter now. I spend my days sitting in the window just giving him hateful death stares. But he’s been seducing my human. He pops over the road and strolls towards my gate as if he owns the place, sits down doing cute and adorable with a playful smile on his whiskers so that Carol will go out and feed him. I cannot believe that she is being seduced by his handsome ginger good looks. She would put out the dregs and scraps that I wouldn’t eat, but now she is actually buying his favourite cat kibbles, which I’m not allowed to have. This makes me very angry!

He shows no gratitude, once he’s stuffed his greedy gingery chops, he turns round, tail erect, then sashays off to find a bush to snooze under, not a hint of a thank-you purr!

Carol calls him ‘our garden guest.’ That’s not what I call him!!

We have another garden guest who visits several times a day for a free feed. Carol calls him (and I cannot believe this) Lovechunks!!!

Lovechunks turns up at the crack of dawn so that he can snaffle a whole pouch of something delicious from his own bowl which is left by the garage. He is very skittish and unapproachable. He has even been known to hiss at Carol which I think is jolly bad manners. No-one knows where he lives but Carol assures me that he will not be living at Tom Cat Towers with us, he’s just a …. garden guest!

 

I think that the free feline feasts are being well advertised along the feline telegraph as we also have a very young ginger and white tom who rolls up to be fed by the gates of my establishment. Carol calls him Cuticles. He’s a real scaredy cat and will run when a human approaches him. Then there’s the big black and white tom we call Monochrome-Mike, then there’s a massive intact tabby that sits staring in at my food bowl through the French windows, then there’s  ………….. Oh the list is endless; they all seem to make a beeline for my soft-touch human. This really has got to stop! She used to be a one-cat human, now she’s just gone bonkers falling in love with any no-hoper who pads down my pathway.

So I really don’t know what to do Mewsers. How do get my human back all to myself? I’m at a total loss and welcome any ideas!!

Your devoted reader

Tushtots

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