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Hi People, Casey and I have been wondering what to do about Valentine’s Day which is coming up soon. As you know, although we felines are intent on World Dominion, we still haven’t got thumbs, so that’s holding up proceedings somewhat.  Until we get thumbs so many of life’s little pleasures – and some of the bigger ones – are off the table for us.

We know that some cats have already mastered the ‘Puter and use their human’s credit card to order delicacies for themselves while their humans are fast asleep.  But that’s not something that Casey and I would do.  So, we’re going to try and help you find inventive ways of giving your human that something special for Valentine’s Day without resorting to things beyond your sphere of capabilities.

Because we don’t have pockets, or earn money, we can’t buy flowers or chocolates but that doesn’t mean we can’t bring flowers from the garden into the house.  Looking at our garden which is covered in thick frost today, there’s not much going on in the garden.  It all looks pretty dead, if you ask us.  So unless you’re fortunate enough to live somewhere warm where you haven’t got a garden full of dead stuff, strike flowers off the list.

Litter tray artIf you’re an indoor kitty or even an outdoor kitty with access to a litter tray the world is your oyster.  Or your litter tray is!  This is your chance to shine and show off your artistic talents.  How about creating a heart shaped mound in your litter tray? Won’t your human be pleased and surprised at your clever ingenuity? You’ll need to have done a few wees in it first to get it to clump up into the required heart shape, so make sure your human doesn’t empty the tray for an hour or so.

If being a Banksy in the Litter Tray isn’t your thing, and to be honest, not every cat has access to a litter tray, you could try paw art.  This just requires some paper, some wettish weather or better still, some mud, and you’re meowing.  What you do is go out in the garden and tread in some wet patches.  In wet or even damp soil, tread in that to make sure your paws are quite muddy.   Then come through the cat flap and tread on the piece of paper that you’ve placed there ready.  If it’s a red piece of paper that’s purrfect, but any colour will do – make sure it’s not black or brown paper as you won’t see the finished product.

All you do then is walk all over the paper.  Simple. You should have a good mix of four and five toed paw prints.  Leave it to dry off and present it to your human who’ll be ecstatic and hang it on the wall.  In years to come it will be worth millions, so it’s the gift that keeps on giving.

If you’re like the majority of felines and you don’t like getting your paws muddy or wet – think of all the licking we’ve got to do to clean them up! – then our last suggestion might just work for you.  First, make sure your human is sitting comfortably on the couch or sofa – whatever you call it – with their favourite drink.  Our mum loves cappuccinos.  Make sure that your human is warm but not too warm and either reading the book of the moment or watching their preferred television programme.  Then you just hop up on their lap.  This is why they mustn’t be too warm or this bit won’t work.  Once on their lap, you do the kneading thing for a while, claws in so you don’t puncture their thighs, then you turn around three times and get comfy.  Win - win.  Mum (or Dad) gets you as a one-off special Valentine’s Day present and you get a comfortable lap to snooze on for as long as they don’t wriggle.

We hope you like our Valentine’s tips.  Let us know what yours are.

Till the next time,

Gibbs and Casey xxx

A Cats Prayer

Lead me down all the right paths,
Keep me from fleas, bees, and baths.
Let me in should it storm,
Keep me safe, fed, and warm.

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