Articles

It is with regret that the sudden death of Sir Teddie ‘Tiger’ Trumpington Trubshaw has been announced in all the international newspapers.

Sir Teddie lived with Lady Fanny Fart Trumpington Trubshaw (nee Gruffington-Gussets) at Gripewater grange for many decades.

His faithful butler and wrinkled old family retainer; Norman Scrotini, or Skrowte as  he is known by the family, was nominated as Sole Executer of the will of the estate and was dismayed to have his suspicions, built up over many years, confirmed. Sir Teddie liked the gee gees. Especially well hoofed gee gees such as Royal Ascot and The Grand National, so much so that Gripewater Grange is all but bankrupt due to his extravagant, but secretive, gambling habits and numerous affairs.

This is something which is quite unknown to Lady Fanny.

In order to continue his devoted service to the Trumpington Trubshaw family Norman Scrotini has decided to carry on serving Lady Fanny as if nothing has happened. Although cost cuts, downsizing and budget cuts will have to be implemented without her Ladyship being aware or consulted.

Lady and Lord Trumpington Trubshaw had no children.

Lady Trumpington Trubshaw devotes her life to her pampered cat, His Most Royal Highness, The Truly Excellent, Marvellously Mogalicious Regally Regaled Prince Clarence Clutterbuck of Sozzlebury  on whom she dotes, spoils and takes out with her in the Rolls Royce on his diamond collar and lead to all social functions. No dietary requirement is too much for her beloved feline companion as he sits on a cushion embroidered with Her Ladyship’s family arms on the table by Her Ladyship when she dines, and he is fed with his own miniature silver fork by Her Ladyship.

As far as Skrowte is concerned the only function of Prince Clarence of Clutterbuck is to rid Gripewater Grange, a stunning Tudor castle which has seen far better days, in the olde worlde village of Upper and Lower Sozzlebury, of rodents.

Prince Clarence of Clutterbuck, a rather elderly statesman of a cat, regards Nobed Skrowte, as he refers to him, as the biggest rodent of all.

And so it is stand-off at Gripewater Grange as Prince Clarence observes all upper crust life which is teetering on financial collapse before him. …. Except Clarence is a little hard of hearing and his eyesight is not all that it should be so his version of things can be a little fuzzy. He also views Skrowte’s kind hearted downsizing and devotion to duty as the Butler lining his own nest!!

Carol Lake