Articles

 Hello, one and all, my name is Butty and I am a tortoiseshell lady of senior years (15 years and 4 months).  Life here in the Fallon household has always been pretty good.  I was born here so I guess I should know.  

Last year Pusskat Willem entered our lives.  He was a stray who turned up in our garden.  He is jet black and was quite thin at the time.  At first mummy just ignored him as he was wearing a red collar, so she thought he must belong to someone.  He remained in the garden so she started feeding him.  Mummy made lots of enquiries but no one owned up to Willem being theirs. Mummy decided as he was such a friendly cat we should keep him.  

Willem is only a young cat and had his third birthday in July.  When he first arrived it was very clear that Willem knew nothing about living in a cat household where cats rule.  He did not sit on furniture and he dare not go upstairs.  He just lay on the floor.  Gradually he saw us lot on the chairs so he gave it a go, but was not sure if he was doing the right thing.  However, he decided that it was much softer than being on the floor.  One day he followed mummy upstairs and discovered the bed.  That was real luxury and he loved it.  

Life progressed on a fairly even keel, until mummy entered us all in a photo competition individually that the good people at the Daily Mews were hosting.  Willem was chosen for the calendar, and that is when he became a changed cat. 

A few months ago Willem had an accident and damaged his cornea very badly.  He is still having eye drops three times a day.  Since he became a celebrity he has got himself an eye patch and is pretending to be Long John Silver.  He was trying to catch a pigeon the other day and when I asked him what on earth he thought he was doing, he said the pigeon was going to go on his shoulder.  I told him it needed to be a parrot.  

"When was the last time you saw a parrot in Farnborough?" He said.  Fair point.  Anyway, he is still parrotless as he is useless at catching things.  A little too portly these days for flying after birds, methinks.  

Despite his celebrity status Willem assured us all it would not change him!!  We knew that wasn't going to be the case as soon as the eye patch appeared.  

Mummy feeds us altogether in the mornings and this has always worked well.  We all have our bowls and preferred places we like to eat.  Willem was always happy with his place until he got onto that darned calendar.  Now he refuses to eat at the same time as the rest of us.  He now turns up for breakfast after we have eaten ours (celebrities don't get up early apparently).  He saunters into the room and turns his nose up at the food the rest of us have had.  He now demands prawns and oysters (freshly caught each morning) be brought to him.  Yes, you've guessed it he cannot possibly eat from a bowl someone else might have used, he must have his own, plastic and ceramic - much too common, my dear for the likes of him.  He insists on a silver platter with a fresh linen napkin placed alongside.  Later on in the day he may require a few tasty biscuits to take the edge off his appetite until dinner time.  Dinner time means rump steak for Willem.  It's a wonder we don't have to keep a cow in the back garden (hope no one ever puts that idea in his head).  

Twinkle who is tabby and white and 7 years old, and a bit of a diva herself has been giving Willem tips on how he should be looking after his body now he is a celebrity.  He has now signed up for the gym and is off for some sort of spa day to tone and refresh his fur and body.  

Twinkle has taken things too far with Willem though by telling him that celebs travel around in stretch limos.  Please no, if his head gets any bigger he will not get through the car door anyway.  

So you see fame and fortune may be great for those at the receiving end, but for the rest of us, it really isn't all that great.

Have fun.

Love Butty xxxx