Articles

I am a ‘teacup’ 

When I was born my mummy-cat didn’t think I would survive. I was underweight and just riddled with problems both physical and mental. I would have been called the runt of the litter, but in these politically correct times that word is no longer used. I am a ‘teacup’. 

It all sounds very sweet. A tabby teacup my human sometimes calls me as she scoops me up for a hug. My human loves me and makes me feel safe and secure.

I have learned that the way to endless tigers and cheap-crap from the sachets is to butter up my human by escorting her around Tom Cat Towers at all times, thus ensuring she is aware of my presence, especially when in the kitchen. I spend all day just paddling round from room to room trying to keep up as my withered legs sometimes goosestep, or take me off in a direction I hadn't planned. My human is very patient with me.

My human, thinking she was saving my paws from wearing out picked me up one morning and plopped me in a handbag. It was quite a novel experience. I could poke my paws over the edge and peer out as we tootled round the garden. I felt rather like a fashion accessory!

I enjoyed it so much that the human placed a small cushion inside which made it rather cosyand helped ease my poor bones. Needless to say the ginger loon turned green with envy. He likes to get into boxes and bags.

As soon as I got out to paddle into the kitchen for a slurp of water, the ginger no-hoper tried to get in the bag. It was hanging off a chair, so he jumped up onto the chair then slithered into it through the open zip, but his great obese bulk burst the stitching at the bottom and the bag burst just leaving his fat bottom poking out of the bag. How attractive!

My new toy was soon stuffed into the bin.

Willi’s version

I was green with envy when my human took over my caring duties by carrying Dippi round in a bag so that she wouldn’t have to walk.

I was also jealous as I hadn’t been given a contraption like it too. So when Dippi was off snoozing somewhere I climbed into the bag to give it a thorough inspection. However, it promptly burst at the and left my bottom hanging out of it. Most undignified.

I managed to climb out and wander off but was most put out that the finger of accusation from the human for bursting it was pointed at me as a ‘fat lump’.