Have you ever thought it strange that we cats never go to war? 

... but when we both pawsed and realised we [and the easily duped local cats too] were both at one with Great Cat, even the dish lost its pre-eminence. 

JimmyYour local ‘news’ here in the UK [Liverpool/Manchester] has a lead story every night about Afghanistan, about ‘one of the boys’ getting injured or killed. And your national ‘news’ couldn’t survive without incessant stories about Irarq or Afgharnistarn. Your national news people pronounce words differently don’t they?

The’ public response’ to the appalling floods in Parkistarn has been pathetic I gather. As you lot have been told Parkistarn ‘exports’ terror for 10 years, I wonder if that has anything to do with it?

In my middle age, when I first came across my current keepers, I used to spend hours facing down next door’s cat, Max. We would look at each other unblinkingly across a thicket, and neither one of us would walk away. Until we got fed up with it, and had to go and eat. Still, there was always tomorrow.

You have not only heard about ‘Great War’ soldiers stopping fighting at Christmas, you have written songs about it. ‘All Together Now’ by the ‘Farm’ and another by Paul McCartney whose title escapes me.

As so many of you are completely brainwashed It perhaps takes a feline to hold up a mirror to what’s going on. The nonsense in the thicket harmed no-one, and as I got older and wiser-and before I left Max’s neighbourhood-the futility of it all dawned on me.

Forgive me if I return once more to my favourite myth-breaker, cui bono, who benefits?

Well, let me start by saying it’s not 99% of you.

You are told humans are warlike-‘it’s in your jeans’ [yes it would be truer if they did say this]. And yet excepting the odd incidents of ‘road rage’, there is precious little evidence of it. But hey, your manipulators have a counter to this reality. ‘They’ [your enemy] are blood-thirsty savages, bent on world domination.

Another wonderful trick you fall for is that ‘This war will end all wars.’ And another healthy dose of reality hits you every few years to reveal this as another lie. Korea, Vietnam, the Middle East, Iraq, the Falklands, Afghanistan. We’re back on local newspeak again.

I think one of your best cons is that God is on your side. Either they are Godless heathens, or your God is bigger than their God.

The Great Cat loves Max and me equally. However, I’m not sure what the GC has in store for those of you who fund both sides of your wars. Prescot Bush, father of the first George Bush, was amongst many ‘top people’ caught red-handed channelling American money to the Nazis in World War 2. Surely this should have been named ‘The Even Greater War.’

Both our keepers funded [fed] Max and myself. But they didn’t sharpen our claws, fill us with ‘diet’ drinks and bombard us with images of Max’s and my ‘atrocities.’ They would have to have made the last ones up. Something along the lines of Max raiding my dish, and me defecating in his garden would have swung it. Truth is I was peerless at raiding my own dish, and Max ‘patrolled his own garden expertly, so it would have been difficult. Still, there were a few other ginger, and grey/white toms in the area…

I’m sure you know that during war time, your governments have to borrow money to fund the ‘war effort.’ The people who lend you the money are the same people who give you too much credit, then withdraw it and crash your economy. In the old days, when you couldn’t pay your bills, they used to steal your gold, now it’s your houses.

And now, you are being forced into ‘austerity.’ Because your governments have over-large ‘deficits.’  And who do you think helped create these deficits? And have you ever thought where the non-existent money ever goes?

It probably would have been the easiest thing for Max and I to recruit some duped local cats and fought ‘The Battle of the Thicket.’ The more casualties the better. The greater the legacy of bitterness, the more likely ‘The Even Grander Battle of the Thicket’ a few years down the line. Survivors could have written songs about it, claw sharpeners could have cashed in, and most of all, thicket re-builders would be dancing around gleefully.

The problem that remains however, is that Max and I may have had our differences, but when we both pawsed and realised we [and the easily duped local cats too] were both at one with Great Cat, even the dish lost its pre-eminence.

When the local cats awaken, and stop cooperating with those who finance the thicket burners and re-builders, the game will be up.

And if you lot follow our example, the true nature of humanity may just emerge once more. And you won’t need liars to tell you want that nature is.

Fancy a week in Barghdard?

Jimmy the Peacemaker

PS, if you want more of this, blended with a heavy dose of spiritual wisdom and reflection, check out my male keeper’s blog, http://healerjack.wordpress.com/

Dogs Come when Called

"Dogs come when called. Cats take a message and get back to you."

"Of course, every cat is really the most beautiful woman in the room."

Edward Verrall Luca (essayist)

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