You will be pleased to hear I’m now fully recovered and my appetite is back. I’m not getting any younger though, so no sprinting to the dish. In fact, if my cathismo can stand the shame, Daisy and Holly often push me out. 

The incidence of skin cancer in the Hebrides is 10 times that in Mediterranean countries...

jimmyMy last piece was about the imminent dawn of the feminine, the transformation of [human] male energy [fighting, power, ego, politics, war, competition and stress]. But ‘they’ won’t go without a fight. You have had Swine Flu in 1976, SARS, Bird Flu, and now Swine Flu again. The world you have created is falling apart.

Now, I’m very tempted to sit here and push some mildly amusing guff out. Indeed having scared my keepers [they even thought I could have been re-joining the Great Cat] witless, I’m in the mood for some mellow reflection.

But, there are some things you should know…

We felines don’t mind the wet; we have been spoiled by years of centrally-heated pampering. Yet when your weather people come on the TV, they pull faces when rain is forecast. What would happen to your crops if there was no rain?

Conversely, if it gets ‘too hot’ the weather person’s mush contorts again, and advises you to ‘cover up.’

Do you think the Great Cat designed you humans to live in caves? Sunlight is your greatest friend. Your eyes detect the sun [unless covered by ridiculous sun glasses] and the skin produces melanin, protecting you from burning. Sun light produces vitamin D, which stops you getting a whole range of ‘natural’ and man-made diseases. Indeed I’m told by my Scottish friends that the incidence of skin cancer in the Hebrides is ten times that in Mediterranean countries.

Our purrs heal our tissues, sinews and bones if we get injured. In your crazy world, we would be told purring is harmful and that we should shut up and dip ourselves in chemicals. How about a ‘purr muffler’ with volume control?

Did you know that the gruesome images of tar-filled lungs on your cigarettes has the opposite effect to that intended? Yes, those clever bar stewards have discovered that the pictures actually stimulate nicotine craving.

What would happen if you found out that the very people you elected and trusted to run your affairs were on the take? That decades ago free energy was discovered, and electric cars were built [then scrapped] that could run all day for next to nothing?

Upon reading this, some of you will conclude that Jimmy has lost the plot. And you may be right. The combination of antibiotics and cat milk has induced some kind of euphoria. I’m still dreaming of a world in which we relate to all beings as one, where there are no divisions between cats based on markings, breed, gender, keeper income, age, size, having/not having a tail and quality of collar and cat basket. Plus, many of us are micro-chipped, and soon you will be, and those who know best will, if you toe the line, have relaxing music transmitted to your chip.

Whether you believe me or not, changes are ahead. Everyone on earth will take more responsibility for their lives, or let those who know best become better at concealment.

If you see me pictured with a ‘purr muffler’ you might want to protest. Don’t let your MP charge you for the privilege…

Another Greek island beckons in September!


© Jack Stewart MSc

In the Middle of a World...

"In the middle of a world that has always been a bit mad, the cat walks with confidence."

Roseanne Anderson