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KITTEN DIARIES #18 by Ollie
Thursday, 1st July Mum had to get up early today because she had something called ‘exams’ again. She was very tired yesterday because she had to go on a long train journey and she was out of the house for absolutely hours and hours. So she went to bed early. As I hadn’t seen much of her yesterday and I was missing her, I wanted to see her so I thought I’d get her up early, in readiness for her exams. I went onto the roof and tried to get through the window but it wasn’t open, so I went back downstairs and round the front to call her at the front door. After a little while she came down and opened the door. You’d think she’d be really pleased to see me, wouldn’t you? AND I’d forgotten about the crumpled face, with the one eye closed and the hair all standing up on end so that I nearly had a heart attack when I saw her and almost changed my mind and went back out again! Before she could say ‘plums and custard, Ollie’, I’d shot upstairs and made myself comfortable on her bed. When she came upstairs she gave me a quick cuddle and she glanced at the clock. I thought it was nearly time for her to get up perhaps but she sighed – because it was only ten to four!
Wednesday, 14 July A strange creature caught my eye this morning. It was a huge black and yellow furry thing and it made a very strange kind of buzzing type noise. And it was leaning on the front door window so I sat down on the carpet in the hallway and decided to keep watch on it to see what it was going to do next. When Mum came downstairs she saw me staring at the front door and when she came over to see what it was that had me mesmerised she almost screamed. You have to understand that Mum is someone who is always very patient, always very in control and hardly ever loses her temper. Her face doesn’t change colour as much as it used to when I first came here to live so I’ve got her out of that peculiar habit. So when she did a quick intake of breath and a small little strangulated cry came out, I was quite astonished, let me tell you. The reason for the strange little cry was because I was being hypnotised by a massively big bumblebee. Mum clicked her fingers in front of my face and I snapped out of it and she quickly carried me to safety in the dining room where the bee couldn’t hurt me. Then she got a drinking glass – the very one I drank my water out of that I told you about! – and she got a coaster and then she went to the front door window and put the glass over the bee and quickly put the coaster over the top so it couldn’t fly out. The bee was pretty mad, and was making a funny Mum sat down after that and had a drink of coffee. She told me that she hadn’t seen a bee that big in all her life!
Tuesday, 20th July
Ricky has found another place to sleep which made Mum smile when she saw him. He looks very comfortable spread out in this planter. His other 'bed' was an oblong shape which he just about fit into, so maybe that's why he chose to move up into a bigger size planter! He hasn't really got a fat face though - although it does look like it in this picture. He was just leaning on the edge of the planter and his cheeks puffed outwards.
Friday, 23rd July It was a very hot day today and then when Mum went to bed some crashing around was going on in the sky. First of all there was some bright lights which kept flashing on and off and then there were some very loud bangs. I didn’t like the loud bangs because they frightened me. Garfield said it was only a thunder storm and not to worry about it and if I wanted to, he said, I could go and sleep next to him and he’d look after me. At first I thought I’d stay on my own little bed but the flashing light stuff went on for ages and the thunder stuff got really loud. When Mum came down stairs to see if we were all right, Timmy, Billy, Ricky, Sam and I were all wedged on the little sofa in the dining room next to Garfield and he was telling us stories trying to make us feel better. Mum had the one eye closed and the hair all standing on end thing going on again so temporarily we forgot about the flashing lights and the bangs and had a discussion about night time Mum being probably more scarier than the thunder storm. Mum came over to give us all a kiss, cuddle and a stroke and we tried not to show that she was scaring the pants off us. Really – she’s got to do something about this night time look because it’s a health hazard. She put some sweeties down for us in a couple of bowls and we forgot how she looked and leapt up to get some leaving Garfield to tell his stories to himself!
Saturday, 31 July It’s my birthday tomorrow and I’ll be 2 years old. We don’t actually know the exact day for my birthday so Mum said that the 1st of August would be my birthday from now on. That came about when I’d been dumped at the Pet Shop and PetShopMan rang Mum up to tell her about me. Mum took me to see the vet and I saw a lady vet who was really nice because she said I was a little cutie – I thought she was really nice until she stuck that long pointy thing in my neck – and then I went off her a bit. Well, she said that I was probably about 4 months old and as that was in December, Mum and her worked back four months and came to August. It’s Mum’s birthday in August as well, but she wanted me to have my very own day so she gave me 1st of August as my own special day. I have decided now that I’m 2 (minus one day) that I’m not going to write any more kitten diaries, because I’m not a kitten anymore. I might do something else though but to be honest, I’m so busy that I don’t get much free time these days. I hope that you’ve enjoyed reading them, as much as I have enjoyed telling you all about the fun things that I’ve done. You have to know when to quit – keep them happy, keep them laughing, and then leave! That’s my motto!!! So you all take care now; you can write to me if you want to and I’ll write back to you. It’s been a good exercise and now I have to move on to the next thing in my life. Good-bye!
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nnnnnnnnnnnnzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz noise which made me laugh because it sounded like it
had a cold in his nose. Mum went to the back door with the bee still making the
nnnnnnnnnzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz noise and as she opened the back door, she moved the
coaster away from the vase and the bee flew off – making his
bbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz noise again – which is what got me hypnotised in
the first place.
