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KITTEN DIARIES #14 by Ollie
Monday, 1st March I have been banned from the bathroom! I like playing in there by myself but it’s better when Mum’s in there doing her things because she plays with me as well. But now I am not allowed in there unsupervised, whatever that might mean. I have a little red ball that I play football with in the bath. The ball is small enough to kick into the plughole and score a goal. On the window cill is a little purple box with hundreds of cotton buds (Q-tips) inside and I figured that Mum wouldn’t miss one or two. So, I got up on the sink and with one back paw balanced on the side of the sink, the other back paw balanced on the toilet cistern, I used my nose to nudge the lid off the little purple box. I hadn’t expected quite an explosion of cotton buds (Q-tips) all over the place. They went everywhere and in my great shock and surprise I fell off the sink and toilet and fell in the bucket that lives under the sink. Mum came rushing in and her mouth made a big round ‘O’ shape as she saw me in the bucket, paws everywhere absolutely smothered in cotton buds (Q-tips). I am only allowed in the bathroom now if I have someone with me! Friday, 5th March I was playing football with the little red ball in the kitchen and scored a spectacular goal under the cooker. I went to find Mum and told her I had a problem. She went to the cupboard under the stairs where she keeps this long stick with writing on and I wondered what that had to do with my problem. But the next moment, there she was on her knees with her big round bottom sticking up in the air, fishing about under the cooker with the stick with writing on. Suddenly I could hear the rolling noise of the ball and there it was, a bit hairy from the dust and hair that has accumulated under the cooker, but none the worse for its ordeal. Mum felt so embarrassed about giving me a hairy ball to play with that she pulled the cooker out from its place by the wall and started to clean all around it. Then she decided the tiles behind the cooker ought to be washed which meant that ALL the kitchen tiles had to be washed. Then she decided that the bit of floor that the cooker stands on had to be washed which meant that the entire kitchen floor had to be washed. She washed the ball as well before giving it back to me and once the floor had dried, I began playing with it again in the kitchen. Mum had spent so long doing all these extra jobs that she was behind on her other things so she went upstairs to her computer while I just played football by myself in the kitchen. I kicked the ball – it was another spectacular goal - straight behind the washing machine. Whoops! I don’t think I’ll mention it for a while. Saturday, 6th March Garfield had to go to the vets this morning, as he isn’t well again. He hasn’t been eating his meals or drinking anything and Mum has been beside herself with worry over him. Yesterday morning, they just sat on the sofa all morning, and Mum was talking to Garfield and stroking him gently. Garfield had his eyes closed and Mum thought that he wasn’t going to open them again and I know she was very sad – so much so, that those wet things, tears, I think Garfield called them, ran down her face for a little while. When Garfield went to the vet, he saw the nice lady vet that I saw when I first came here to live. And although she didn’t stick that thing up his bottom she did give him TWO injection thingies in his neck. He came home from there and went up to sleep on Mum’s bed and all she kept doing all day was running up and down making sure he was ok. He still isn’t eating or drinking anything and Timmy keeps hanging around Garfield telling him he has to eat and drink because he’ll get really sick. None of us want that as we all love Garfield – he’s my best friend and I haven’t forgotten how kind he was to me when I first came here to live.
Wednesday, 10th March I tried to play SNAP with the snow this morning. Garfield told me that each piece of snow is called a snowflake and that no two snowflakes are the same. The snow didn’t last long enough for me to check, but I had a good time running around looking for matching pairs. Each time I thought I’d found one that matched one I’d just seen, I couldn’t find the first one. There would just be a wet patch where it had been. Sunday, 14th March I have been banned from the kitchen! When Mum got up this morning she was something called ‘astonished’ to see not only the larder door open, but the refrigerator door too. She thought maybe Sam had opened it because he is the master door opener and one of his jobs is to open the larder door at meal times. But then while she was preparing all the breakfasts, I waltzed in from my early morning ramble and went straight to the larder door, which was slightly open, and hooked my paw under the fridge and voila! Hey presto! Fridge door open! I had a good look inside to see if there was anything I could eat as a snack while waiting for my breakfast. Mum wished she had her camera ready because she never would have believed that I was that clever. I amaze myself sometimes at the great things I’ve shown her that I can do. I am only allowed in the kitchen now if I have someone with me! Friday, 19th March I have been banned from the living room! Each morning after I’ve eaten my breakfast I like to go to the living room, climb up onto the back of the sofa and get behind the curtains and the sheer curtain to look out the window. At the moment, there is a big plastic thingy up at the window to help keep the draughts out as the windows rattle and cold air comes in through the gaps. Anyway, I saw a spider on the window and wanted to play with it so I had to make an opening in the plastic thingy. I made a big enough opening that I could climb right inside. Mum was astonished when she saw me playing with the spider. I am only allowed in the living room now if I have someone with me! Wednesday, 24th March I have been banned from Mum’s bedroom! I opened her cupboard door and turned out the shelves for her because I thought they could do with a tidy-up. She has masses of bikini bottoms, which would probably fit a Barbie doll, so why she keeps them is anyone’s guess. I just thought I would help her to sort things out so I made a big pile of things and then I was so tired at all this helping, that I curled up on them and went to sleep. Mum was really busy today, rushing about, and the last thing she wanted to do she said, was tidy up my mess. MESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was helping her! Sometimes, I could just say ‘Plums and Custard’ out of frustration. I am only allowed in her bedroom now if I have someone with me!
Saturday, 27th March
It is Garfield’s 18th birthday today. He had shedloads of presents to open and some birthday cards, and a balloon that had the number ‘18’ on it. The balloon lives on the ceiling and has a big long purple ribbon attached to it, but none of us can reach it. Mum made Garfield a hat with the number ‘18’ on it and poor Garfield had to wear it to please her. He tried to smile his best smile but you could see he was gritting his teeth. He remembered the hat fiasco of last year but he was a good sport and put on a brave face. Mum took millions of photos of him wearing the hat, and a new spanky swanky collar which Mollie, our friend in California sent to him. It’s red, white and blue and Garfield looks the biz now! Mollie sent Garfield a big box with lots of nice presents in and they were all inside a very pretty little bag with a sparkly red ribbon tied to the handles. What did Sam do? He put his head inside the handles and ‘wore’ the bag!!! He did look funny but by the time Mum got the camera ready, Sam had managed to get his head out and run away. Tuesday, 30th March Mum was something called ‘cross with herself’ today. She was really busy doing stacks of messy jobs and about 11.00-ish, she decided she’d cook herself a jacket potato for her lunch. So she lit the oven and answered the door to give some things to a charity collection, then answered the phone, and then carried on with all the messy jobs. Finally, when the last messy job was cleared up and finished, she looked at the kitchen clock and a big smile spread over her face. It was time for lunch. She got out a plate, the Flora lite margarine, and the grated cheese, which was in a pretty little dish. She got some cherry tomatoes and coriander and laid them on her plate, and then she went to the oven, turned off the gas and opened the door. She looked in disbelief! She had been so busy that she FORGOT to put the potato in the oven!!!!! The cooker had been on for 2 hours for no reason. Mum didn’t say ‘ Plums and Custard!’ let me tell you, but I can’t tell you what she DID say!!! So that was bad enough for one day, you’d think. But no, there was more bad stuff to come. Mum noticed that Garfield was walking all wobbly and kept falling over. She took him straight up to see Kevin, our Vet, and he told Mum that Garfield had had another stroke – but this time, it was a bigger one than the one he had last year. He gave Garfield two of those injection thingies and Mum has to keep an eye on him (on Garfield that is, not the Vet!) Mum came home with Garfield and he went to lie outside on her sun lounger as it is a lovely sunny day today. Mum settled him down and came indoors and cried her eyes out. I don’t like it when she’s really sad. |
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