KITTEN DIARIES #10
by Ollie

Saturday, 1^st November

There have been some very loud bangs just lately throughout the day, but especially at night. Mum said they were fireworks and we had to be very careful when we went out. In fact, she would prefer us not to go out at night but none of us like staying in apart from Garfield. The weather has become colder now and he likes to stay in on the sofa with Mum watching TV.

The bangs will get worse towards the 5^th November which is Firework Night, or Guy Fawkes Night when the entire country lets off fireworks to celebrate Guy Fawkes’ failure to blow up the houses of Parliament – so Mum told me. I wished I hadn’t asked to be honest.

Monday, 3^rd November

We had a great surprise this morning. ParcelMan delivered another big package today.  When Mum opened it up, it was a blue Crinkle bag and a ZoomAroundTheRoom Crackle Bee. I took the Bee and played with it for HOURS because it was such great fun. Then I had a look at the Crinkle bag and discovered a catnip thingy inside – that was it then – I had the Crackle Bee inside the Crinkle bag and had the time of my life. The Crinkle bag does make a sort of crinkly-crackly noise which the others came to investigate and one by one they jumped on the bag – with me still inside – until I got fed up and came out. But I kept the Crackle Bee in my mouth in case someone wanted that too. 

Even Garfield had a go in the Crinkle bag when he thought no one was looking. Mum could hear him slurping away at the catnip thingy and when she looked to see who was attached to the ginger bottom, which was just visible, she was really happy to see it was Garfield – enjoying himself for once.

Wednesday, 5^th November - Guy Fawkes Night

A ton of things happened today. ParcelMan brought ANOTHER big parcel this morning and inside was a present for me from Mum. It’s a blue round thing with a yellow ball inside which you push around by putting your paws in slots which are in the top. It’s great fun and I played with it for ages.

Mum put the big box on the floor as we like playing in boxes, and after I’d played with the blue round thingy, I climbed into the box, had a quick wash and curled up and went to sleep for ages.

Much later, all hell broke loose as fireworks were let off. The noise went on for hours and we all sat in the lounge, squished up on the sofa with Mum, watching Will and Grace on Living TV – which made Mum laugh.  We weren’t allowed out while all the bangs and booms were going on because Mum said there are some horrible people about who do nasty things to animals with fireworks – so we stayed in and cuddled up with Mum for ages.

Friday, 7^th November

Mum bought a load of fatballs from PetShopMan today and hung them along the fence for the birds. They go into a feeding frenzy several times a day, as there are up to 12 fatballs and a half a coconut thingy which has fat inside it, hanging from the washing line.

I watch - in awe – from the tower by the window as birds hang upside down from the coconut thingy to reach the fat inside. They don’t seem to go giddy or fall off, and I half expect them to do a triple somersault on their dismount to rapturous applause from the onlookers lined up along the fence with some holding up score cards showing marks out of ten for artistic endeavour.

Monday, 10^th November

Kind NextDoorButOneNeighbourMan has made a little table for Garfield. As I eat my food along side Garfield, I can share the little table too. Garfield has pains in his back from something called ARFRITUS and bending down to eat from his bowl on the floor hurts his neck, and usually, after one or two mouthfuls he moves away.

The table is just the right height for us to have our food and water bowls on and we don’t have to bend over. It’s all right for me because my neck doesn’t hurt, but now, Garfield is able to eat all his meals without his neck hurting.

Mum stuck some of the leftover lino from the kitchen floor on it so that she can wipe it clean after our meals. 

Thursday, 13^th November   

Mum wasn’t very well today. She got the pillow from her bed and a spare quilt and put them on the sofa. That’s how we know she’s not very well because she lays on the sofa with her eyes closed.

Timmy likes it when Mum isn’t well because he likes to sleep in the space behind her legs on the sofa. Ricky sometimes sleeps on the arm of the sofa next to the pillow. I like to crawl inside under the quilt and I lay along her side – purring loudly because it’s so nice and cosy there, and Mum’s warm and cuddly.

We usually stay like this for ages – all of us asleep on the sofa until Mum has to get up or something wakes us or until Sam comes along and asks Mum for some dinner. We all pretend that we don’t want to move, but when Mum goes into the kitchen to get Sam some dinner, we make sure we get some dinner too.

Then Mum has to go to the bathroom which is next door to the kitchen. Sometimes I wait outside the door for her and she doesn’t know, so that when she comes out of the bathroom, she nearly falls over me. You know what comes next of course: ‘Plums and custard, Ollie! I didn’t see you there!’

Then she goes and lies back down on the sofa again and tries to sleep and we all go outside for a little while.  When we come back in, we try to get our favourite spots on Mum again, but by this time, Garfield and Billy have moved in!

Monday, 17^th November

Mum was a bit anxious because I came in late for breakfast this morning. It was nearly half past 11 and she wondered where I was, or what I might be doing. I’ve been coming in late for a few days now, and sometimes I’m not in when she goes to bed so if I’m not there in the morning either, she panics.

But I came through the cat flap without a care in the world, and there she is – ringing up all the hospitals in the country, asking for the coast guard to put to sea and all manner of panic things that people do in order to keep busy while the hours pass.

As soon as she saw me, she swooped down on me and scooped me up. Her voice went all funny and squeaky as Columbo changed sex and I got the third degree. I wriggled to get free and went into the front room to the bowl of water which is always on the hearth. I had a good drink, which kept her off my back for a few minutes.

Then I crept upstairs and found Garfield. ‘Best lie low,’ he said, ‘you know what she’s like.’ So I hid under the sofa bed next to him. He put his paw over me – to protect me no doubt, from Columbo’s probing, and we slept like that for ages.

When I finally came down late afternoon for an early tea, she said I was behaving like a typical teenager. I’m not sure what a teenager is but then she added that teenagers just waltz indoors at times to suit themselves without regard for anyone else in the house.

Oh well, I must be a teenager then!      

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